Failbooking

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service meja and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid atau a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President atau Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a tahun plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

This itik walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do anda have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the itik leaves.

The seterusnya day, the itik returns and asks, "Do anda have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the itik leaves.

The hari after that, the itik walks in the store again and asks "Do anda have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told anda no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if anda come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Every hari at school is the same
2. anda never know if your braids look digusting atau not
3. anda are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. anda would like to think that people notice atau even think about anda but anda are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows atau cares about
5. anda worry people will write nasty komen-komen on your Fanpop artikel that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all anda do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When anda only really have like 3 Friends at school and 2 of them...

The tunjuk SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The tunjuk SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed sejak a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine minit of the tunjuk may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob atau Caillou, in which imej change lebih slowly, atau to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...

I'm putting two funny artikel-artikel together in one, hope anda enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I Cinta deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would anda know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what anda need, and I'll tell you...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy menanggung, bear on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some Makanan while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the dapur and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the dapur was when Tina got utama she saw what the dapur was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their utama the Teddy menanggung, bear was hiding in the dapur cupboard as it chuckled...

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 minit power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course anda sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the bahagian, atas off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are anda discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, saat i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her tali pinggang serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got utama my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started Membaca it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 saat later i hear my mother scream off the bahagian, atas of her lungs LILLY GET anda BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she berkata uuummm my homework...

..... Rawak Facts .....

If anda have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, anda have $1.19. anda also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest Rawak speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

Barbra Streisand

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oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...