Respect to me means not doing what would offend someone.

I realize that is absolutely impossible.

I can decide to be offended sejak blueberries. I can be offended sejak anda breathing. If I wanted to, I could be offended sejak everything anda are.

So, anda can't possibly what wouldn't offend someone. There's too many variables to determine what's offensive and what's not because everything is a variable in this misconception of an impossible expression.

For example, I'm absolutely, and only, offended sejak having beliefs and such that I don't agree forced down my throat like a pill so that all ego menelan it "shall not perish but have eternal life." As if. There's no need to threaten me, anda know.

You'd have to know the speaker's true intentions. anda have to know whether atau not the speaker wishes to offend atau not offend.

Previously, that was my mentality. Tak helped me realize I was terribly mistaken. It was true what I berkata that no one belief is superior to another. But true respect comes in, not when the listener knows the speakers true intentions, but when both the speaker and the listener reach a mutual understanding of what is offensive to one another, and to steer away from such things.

Had I not such a great friend as Tak, God knows where I'd be, and I do too. I didn't like where I'd be. Not one bit.

anda may have heard me mention once that I'd hate myself if I ever became my step-brother. There came a day, not too long ago, that I realized that I had become my step-brother: arguing over disputes the sane would see as petty, and trying (desperately) to find sixty legs of the cat, as they say in Puerto Rico. I was trying to prove a point that didn't even make sense.

One of my greatest fears is loss of control. And before anda I stand today, broken and in tears, realizing a truth that I've loathed to hear, but now, has hurt me far lebih than any other time: I was wrong.

Had I stayed on my path of destruction... I don't even want to think about it. I was shunning Friends away, believing they were "unknowledgeable" atau "ignorant", coming from the someone who was moreso. Yet, even with all my offensiveness, with all my shunning, and even with my absolute rebellion against him, (since I looked up to him as a mentor when I first came onto this site) he still insisted on menunjukkan me the truth I wanted to throw away. He insisted on menunjukkan me what was right and what was wrong. And, honestly, I thank him for it.

However, all the credit mustn't fall onto Tak only. I have great Friends who, even in such a time, they haven't pushed me away. Mephi (mephiles97(not sure if I spelled that right...)) is one of them. She maintained humble even when I told her, time and time again, that she didn't have to be. And honestly, in my eyes, that takes a lot of integrity. Then there's Ray, (Rachel_Savaya) who, even in my absolute douchebaginess, she didn't cease communications with me... almost as though she could see through it and that I could be a better person if I tried...

But enough with the celebration. Enough with the praise fest, enough with the awards, Ciuman of feet, and crying. Enough with the sorrow, the hatred, but most of all, enough with my past... Even if my family was torn to pieces, even if my brother wanted to killed my father for my sake, even if my mother committed adultery, even if I have bad influence friends, and even if the person I'm supposed to get along with is my-step brother, (because my parents want me to,) that's no excuse to justify muy actions. My actions were my own, and my fault... they, as in everyone else in my personal life, didn't force my fingers to type what I did at times. Those were my thoughts, and my actions.

(For example, I went on Facebook just to take a break from Fanpop... to take a breather (among other reasons I wish not to discuss...). While on Facebook, I learned that there is role playing there as well, but I also learned that most of the role players are one of two things: young atau sex hungry. This caused me to think back to Tak's artikel on pornography, and so now, I'm doing an experiment. How does, on Facebook, age correlate to the type of role play. Thus far... let's just say I'm getting a lot of data... It's surprising how many people on Facebook actually "want it". And I've recorded an age as low as ten... It's surprising how many people have been tainted sejak pornography at such young age, such as myself, which I was tainted at ten... And have been addicted to masturbation ever since.)

That's not to say I'm proud of myself.

I resent having done such things... And today, I'm pleading, crying, for forgiveness... To all who which I've hurt, please forgive me...

However, it is time that I give my final thought. I'm serene, but I tunjuk my emotions through my writing... A flirty guy who constantly tries to give off the image that he's happy... It's about time that the image that I give off isn't false, and that I be truthful with not only anda guys, but also with myself. I can't be the cereal box with a pedophilic rabbit that's absolutely insane about children grabbing him and taking him away to be "eaten up". I have to be the cereal, what is real.

Now, before anda all, I pledge to change my ways. Will I convert to Christianity? Heh, no. Will I start involving me morals into my actions? Yes. Will I stop being flirty? Probably not, unless a certain someone asks me not to. And of anda are that "certain someone," anda know who anda are. If not, I suppose that it's none of your concern as of yet. Will I stop being a douche? I pledge to. Will I be honest? I will try my absolute best to... But I do pledge to stop becoming my step-brother. If I ever do start drifting back into my old ways, call me out on it, please, because I will need all of anda help.

Now, I realize I can't force anda to believe me atau do anything, but if anda understand, forgive me, and are willing to help me, there is no possible way that I can express all of my gratitude for you. If not, I understand, and I deserve that; I honestly do.

But please, understand that what I have written is from the absolute bottom of whatever hati, tengah-tengah I still have left...

-Prowd