It's my saat Membaca of “Breaking dawn”. I`ve somehow always wondered if the saat time would feel different. Now I know! But it's different in a good way, because I now see things lebih clearly. What fascinated, stroke me this time was not only the huge amount and density of emotions. I saw things from a different prospective – Jacob's. I've always considered myself to be Team Edward, but I know all that team stuff seems a bit meaningless – because it was always Edward for Bella. But what struck me the most was Jacob's development – he literary grows up-in his thoughts, in his acts. He needs to grow up in order to cope with his pain. And in order to prove my words I've picked up some of Jake's thoughts:

    “ I was tired—hadn’t slept since my last patrol—but I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. My head was too crazy. The thoughts bounced around inside my skull like a disoriented swarm of bees. Noisy. Now and then they stung. Must be hornets, not bees. Bees died after one sting. And the same thoughts were stinging me again and again.
” (BD. p.148)

    “ I couldn’t stop myself now. Bella in my arms, Bella sighing my name...
Worse still, this new image I’d never had before, one that sejak all rights shouldn’t have existed for me. Not yet. An image I knew I wouldn’t’ve suffered over for years if he hadn’t shoved it in my head now. But it stuck there, winding threads through my brain like a weed—poisonous and unkillable.
” (BD p.182)

    “Except.

And there it was—a thought I’d never, never wanted to have. But now, with my legs all tied up in strings, I recognized the exception with relief—more than relief, with a fierce joy.
No one could dispute the Alpha’s decision—except for me.
I hadn’t earned anything. But there were things that had been born in me, things
that I’d left unclaimed.
I’d never wanted to lead the pack. I didn’t want to do it now. I didn’t want the
responsibility for all our fates resting on my shoulders. Sam was better at that
than I would ever be.
But he was wrong tonight.
And I had not been born to kneel to him.
The bonds fell off my body the saat that I embraced my birthright.” (BD p.209)

    “
It was weird how distinct our joint thinking was. The pack was already Sam’s pack, was already “them” to us. Something outside and other.
” (BD p.258)

    “Funny how having a deadline made it harder to think about leaving, atau having her
leave. I was glad Seth’d brought that up, so I knew they were staying here. It
would be intolerable, wondering if they were about to go, to take away one atau two atau three of those four days. My four days.
Also funny how, even knowing that it was almost over, the hold she had on me only got harder to break.
For a minit I tried to look at her from a distance, to separate myself from the
pull. I knew it wasn’t my imagination that my need for her was stronger than ever. Why was that? Because she was dying? atau knowing that even if she didn’t, still—best case scenario—she’d be changing into something else that I wouldn’t know atau understand?
” (BD p.296)

    “And I was all alone with my hatred and the pain that was so bad it was like being tortured. Like being dragged slowly across a katil of razor blades. Pain so bad you’d take death with a smile just to get away from it.
” (BD p.328)

    “And I knew Leah was strong enough to face with me the months that were
coming. Months and years. It made me tired to think about it. I felt like I was staring out across an ocean that I was going to have to swim from pantai to pantai before I could rest again.
So much time coming, and then so little time before it started. Before I was flung into that ocean. Three and a half lebih days, and here I was, wasting that little bit
of time I had.
” (BD p. 336)

    “This was it, then. The ocean of pain. The other pantai so far away across the boiling water that I couldn’t imagine it, much less see it. I felt empty again, now that I’d Lost my purpose. Saving Bella had been my fight for so long now. And she wouldn’t be saved.
It was all over.” (BD p.356)

    “ I leaned ke hadapan and felt the heat begin to change me while the pull toward the killer grew—it was stronger than I’d ever felt it before, so strong it reminded me of an Alpha’s command, like it would crush me if I didn’t obey.
This time I wanted to obey.
”(BD p.359)

    “Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porselin face of the
half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in pantas, swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my Cinta for the dead girl upstairs, my Cinta for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the Cinta for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, myself—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space.
I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe.It was the baby girl in the blond vampire’s arms that held me here now.
Renesmee.
” (BD p.360)

    These aren't just some Rawak quotations. I picked them up carefully in order to tunjuk how much Jacob changes during the development of the plot. How from a teenager with Cinta issues he grows to become this conscious man- ready to meet his true fate.
    With all of that Team Edward vs. Team Jacob stuff we tend to miss the bigger picture – meaning - what makes the buku so worth being read – We see how people grow, change for the better, develop a better understanding of how what we don't understand isn't always bad.
    I thought Jacob's example best describes what I want to say. And moreover... now I fully appreciate the wonderful character that Jake is...