edward point of view.

(p.sfor New_moon_master!)

imortality, hurts when anda have nothing to live for.
the darkness helps, being alone, cutting off all sanity.
bella., her brown eyes. her scaret blush, fragile. beautiful. Isabella.

"Carlisles home, edward please come down and greet your father." esmes thoughts begged. she found any eccuse just to see me act "normal"
i diddnt move, only to continue my rocking back and forth.
"hey carlisle, how was work?" alice berkata joyfully.
"umm ok i guess" he mumled, even up here i could hear everything that was said.
"i saw bella today"
my head jerked up. and i sped down the stairs, the pictures on the dinding moved from the gust of wind made sejak my speed.
i stopped once i saw of them.
"What?" i gasped. after we left,her. no-one tried to talk atau think about bella. my darling girl. my love.
"Edward." sorry edward, i, i forgot, to not"
"What did anda say" , interupting, i felt a smile form on my face, the first news of bella in 3 years. the only prove that she was alive.
"i saw her today" he sighed, his head fell to the floor.ashamed of breaking to promise.
Everyone gasped, with mouths open.
omg he is going to kill me i shouldnt of brought clothes for her. dammit, sometimes i cant control myself" alice.
Bella!, Bella!, oh beautiful bella!, i miss her so much!- esme
"he what! he is mad!but what are the chance , she is really clumsy she was bound to come to emergancy room sooner atau later, proberly from just walking to her car....she was awesome,-emmett
[/i} they thoughts continued, filling my head up, like sitting in a school esembly.
"everyone stop!" i yelled. i was fired up now, i wanted to know now, about my bella.
"carlisle, How?"
"she came in, yelling that her. ... her. herr.."he stopped as though he couldnt say what it was to my face.
[i] dont say it , dont say it. think of nothing, nah nah nahh nahh, dum dum dukmmmmmmm, a b c d e f g ...
Carlisle was hiding something big.
"Carlisle spit it out!" i yelled, really, into the zone. i wanted to know about bella.now. i wanted to know everything about her. her job, her house, her family, her dad. her mum, her smile.
"ok..." his face dropped out of all emotion and continued to stare at the floor.
"she came in saying that her baby girl, wasn't breathing. BUt i saved her. bella is married now with a brand new, little girl, Tanna. edward, she is soo beautiful." he diddnt want to say this. not to me. not to anyone.
bella. baby. married. beautiful.
i coulnt beleive. my knees gave in , and i hit the floor. everyone stood staring knowing not to do atau say anything. just let go.
my bella. god how much i wish i had stayed.to hold her to Cinta one lebih time, to see her blush scarlet again, to look at her, and know everything.
married. mother.
i dont know why, but after all this time i had wished that she still loved me, that she is in as much as a state as i am,.
that she wanted me, as much as i want her. that she dreams of me.
But... this is what i asked her to do, to alih on, to marry, have a family, something that i could not give her. my bella, my love.
Tanna.
Alice come sejak me and picked me up and supported me to my room. these were all things that i could do myself, but, i was blinded, sejak bella.
"edward," she whispered, putting her hand to hard- cold back, i diddnt flinch, jsut stoof lookinga tthe floor.
i berkata nothing in return. what would i even say to her.
she huffed, and gave up, he leaned in to Ciuman me on the cheek, and he moved her mouth to me ear.
just that way i used to with bella.
her hands now searching for mine in the dark, i offered them to her, she held them tighty in her grasp.
"Oh my sweet brother. i know she loves you, i see it." she whispered softly.
i graped onto her waist and pulled her closer to me, i needed a hug.
i started to pant as all the memories of bella came back. her saying my name in her sleep. first Ciuman with those oh so tender lips, and seeing her about to die in my arms, in phoenix. Slipping through my fingers like water.
i felt, something wet in my eye.
i pushed out from alice. whats happening?
"edward!" she kneeled down, brushing away the tear that was now flowing down my cheek. it was warm. the only thing in my body that has heat.what bella loved.
The first time a vampire has ever cried before.
over bella.
"Edward. do anda know what this means?"
"no"
"I dont care what we promised, what anda promised her when we left, but your going to see her!"