What's the craziest weirdest most messed up MLIT you've ever seen?

Well, there's this one.

Today, I was watching Iron Man at the movie theaters and my mom and step-dad were with me. A pratonton for Eclipse came up on the screen and peminat girls all screamed when they saw Jacob and Edward, myself included. Then my step-dad Anthony said, “Hmm. I have a doctor with the last name of Cullen.” I about fell out of my kerusi, tempat duduk and immediately thought of 22 ways to clumsily injure self. Enough said. :) MLIT

Though I like the character, Carlisle, this is a total fail.

I found one that berkata this.

"So today at my church I realized that the guy I like also has a silver Volvo, along with his other car. I am now determined to tarikh him. MLIT"

It is f*cking messed up, I mean, who the hell dates a guy because of his damn car?! That's nuts!

I found one too: "Today I covered my boyfriend with glitter and made him stand in the big walk in fridge at work so he would be like Edward :) MLIT"

Oh God, I feel so sorry for any guy that has to go through that. That girl's a psycho!

"Today, I realize the only reason I am dating my bf is because he looks and sounds like Jacob Black, but his name is Edward. MLITotallyT"

Shallow bitch!

This one frightened me:

"Today, I realised whilst watching Twilight that I was lip syncing every word. I guess anda could say I'm obsessed, I'm 36. MLIT"

Three things:
1. She spelled "realized" wrong
2. What kind of person uses the word "whilst"?
3. What kind of insane 36-year-old woman knows the Twilight movie sejak heart, let alone WATCHES it?

"Today I realized my hair is brown, just like Bellas! MLIT!"

Wtf...

all my messed-up favourites have already been taken... but these are awesome:
- The Department of Magical Affairs is investigating claims of sparkling Vampires and shapeshifting Serigala nearly starting a war with Italy. This is a matter of Magical Security. Do not be alarmed, we have the situation under control. Thank anda and please contact local aurors is assistance is needed.
- Today, I realised that on bad days I come onto this website to cheer myself up and to make me feel happy. Not because I am in Cinta with Edward and Jacob, atau wish I was Bella but because it makes me glad to think there are SADDER people in the world. MLINT

This one I found was disturbing

'Today, I was telling my friend about this guy who bit my wrist while drunk at a party. Ever since, she refers to him as the "vampire guy." No wonder I find him so attractive. MLIT'

Ok so first of all, a drunk guy that bit her wrist? Did she just let him do that? Anyone with common sense would probably slap a guy they didn't know if he bit them. Even if they did know the guy they should still slap him. Unless she was drunk also, that should've been the first thing she should've thought of doing. And how does she find him attractive. If some guy bit my wrist it certainly wouldn't make him attractive in my point of view. It would make him a creep.

This is one of the worse I've found:

"On May 1st i went to Columbus Ohio. Me and my mom and aunt and people we met went to a mall. and we see lifesize Edward and jacob cutouts. of course i got and Edward one. Now i am for sure taking Edward to prom. CANT WAIT! MLIT."