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Some great ways to annoy, harass, confuse, atau generally scare Lord Voldemort.
Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, atau at least Crucio'd round the block and back again.

Make sure to read the whole thing, it's worth it!

1. Ask him why he doesn't have such a cool scar.

2. Call him The-Guy-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live.

3. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say anda taught him everything he knows.

4. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

5. Ask him when he last took a bath.

6. Pat him on the head and give him Bunga when his plans are foiled yet again

7. Play "knock and run" at his bedchamber door late at night.

8. Ask him why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something lebih "sociably acceptable".

9. If anda ever need to say "Like taking Kandi from a baby", be sure to add: '"Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others." Stare pointedly at him.

10. When he tries to impress anda with his immense powers, say "Awwwww, lookit, Voldie's got a twiggle!"

11. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like "You're the boss, boss" atau "It's your funeral."

12. Buy him eye drops for "that dreadful redness".

13. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic "My sir, anda look particularly menacing today."

14. Taunt him about his middle name. "Marvolo? What's that, a washing detergent?"

15. Keep a "good-behavior chart". Award points and give out emas stars.

16. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

17. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...

18. Tell people "he's really just a big softie".

19. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

20. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

21. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

22. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

23. "Did anda ever even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?"

24. Encourage him to "think happy thoughts"!

25. Ask him to give anda written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

26. Sign him up for yoga class. Insist it is to "cleanse his soul".

27. Buy him a stress ball.

28. Hide his wand. Make him play the "hot and cold" game in order to get it back.

29. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one hari rule the wizarding world.

30. Call him "Tommy-boy".

31. If you're feeling gutsy, call him "Voldie-poo".

32. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

33. Whack him in the arm and say "mosquito" - every few minutes.

34. If he asks anda about his choice of robes, say he looked better under the turban.

35. Begin any soalan anda ask him with "Riddle me this!" Emphasize on Riddle.

36. Imperio his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of "All Things Bright And Beautiful".

37. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright Warna and glitter.

38. Throw him a Carebears-themed birthday party. Bake him a scar-shaped cake.

39. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

40. Politely exclaim now and again that anda don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

41. Tell him his plastic surgeon did a terrible job with the "red-eyed snake look," and that he should've had the self confidence to age gracefully.

42. Tell him anda know this great therapist in London....

43. Ask him if he's sure the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?

44. Tell him Lucius did it.

45. Write him a theme song. Start Singing it whenever he is about to do atau say something particularly clever and nasty.

46. When he's done something particularly nasty - menyeberang, cross your arms, waggle a finger and say "Now now, do anda really think Salazar would have approved of that?"

47. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

48. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of "that sweet, innocent, cute little boy".

49. Ask him why he's afraid of an old man who looks like Santa Claus and why he can't fight babies.

50. Sign him up for Little League.

51. Cuddle him at Rawak moments.

52. Tell him that noses are back in style.

53. Be Harry Potter. Be Alive.

54. Call him "Champ" atau "Tiger", refer to yourself as "Coach".

55. Ask him where he gets his garlic scented soap.

56. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you

57. ...at Christmas.

58. "Accidentally" schedule him a haircut

59. ...even though he's bald.

60. When he gives anda an order, stare blankly at him and drool.

61. On the seterusnya Valentine's Day, decorate his lair

62. ...make sure the decorations are merah jambu and frilly.

63. Be offended sejak everthing he says.

64. Trade in his black robes for bunny feet pajamas.

65. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

P.S. Make sure to print this senarai on Harry Potter Stationary, get it laminated, and give it to him.
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT! BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS! I FINALLY HAVE INTERNET! YEAH, YOUR THINKING WHATS SO GOOD ABOUT THIS FOR YOU, BUT ME HAVING INTERNET AT utama MEANS I NO LONGER HAVE TO GO TO THE LIBRARY, AND INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR IT TO OPEN, I CAN JUST POST THE NEW CHAPTER AS SOON AS ITS READY! ISN'T THAT GREAT!HOORAY!! ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

Chapter 12: I Cinta the Smell of Rumors on Halloween Morning!

On Halloween morning I woke up to the smell of baking labu all over the place.Sweet, they're preparing labu pie,my kegemaran kind. Even better, Flitwick announced in Charms that we were...
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Chapter 8: Fluffy The Frightening Fluffball

After flying lessons I was able to find Harry.I ran up to him and hugged him so hard I almost knocked him down.
"What's this for?" he asked. I let go.
"I thought anda were gonna be expelled!" I said. Then I punched him on the shoulder
"Ow!What was that for?"he asked
"That's for making me THINK anda were gonna be expelled!"I berkata "Please don't do anything like that again. And if you're not being expelled, then why did McGonagall need you?" I asked
"I promise I wont do anything to get me expelled and she wanted me to sertai the Quidditch team.
"Quidditch?Oh,...
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1. This one is funny, in Harry Potter’s world owls are considered to be the primary means of communication, but in many countries owls are considered bad luck and harbingers of death.

2. anda know those witchy sounding names history in Harry Potter; well they were discovered from the famous book of herbal lore called Culpeper’s Complete Herbal.

3. The name of the penulis J.K. Rowling has not the “K” word part of her legal name; it has been from her grandmother’s name Kathleen and was put into book to get the male readers attraction.

4. Rowling’s kegemaran beast from the series is the...
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I'll make this short but why did the Filem do this. In the buku Padma Patil was a ravenclaw while in the Filem she was gryfindor.Now just like how Harry's eyes are green in the book and blue in the movie (yes I know Dan cant wear the contacts) but it is , in my opinion ANNOYING! Whats with all these stuff ups?

I mean in deathly hallows part one Harry was himself not barry. I mean WTF? Also in Prisoner of Azkaban in the quidditch match, cedric caught the snitch as Harry fell. But in the Filem he got struck sejak lightning.

Obviously someone else in the world thinks that the Filem stuff ups a little annoying. Does anyone agree/disagree i want to hear. (Please dont be offensive though and have lalu at my intelligence, its happened before and quite annoying)also I know the Filem are great so dont think i hate them.
It was a crisp autumn eve on the Hogwarts express. Albus, James and Rosie where eating cauldron cakes and goofing off, when suddenly an owl soared sejak and tapped furiously on the glass. Albus opened the window and the owl burst in and stuck out its leg at Albus. Albus unstrapped the note attached to its leg. The owl stared into Albus' eyes and glared.

Then without another backwards glance it took off. "What does it say?" berkata Rosie who looked terrified. Albus read aloud "potter, if anda ever want to see your parents again anda will meet me outside the shrieking shack at midnight on Halloween." "Its signed lord Voldemort" berkata James.

"This doesn't add up" berkata Rosie. " well we will have to discuss this later because now’s the sorting." Albus said. “cross your fingers that we all get in the same house." berkata James. "We will!" they all berkata in unison.
Now first of all let me state that I’m a true harmony peminat and I hate any other shippings of girls with Harry. Because I am firm believer that harry is for hermione and no one else can come between them!
Now getting on to the point, before I read HBP I never bothererd to even give a saat thought for Ginny weasley. Who was she any ways? I never bothered for her at all. So I dindt in any way notice her. But the thing started in HBP and I grew so sick of her!

Now lets see how ginny weasley came into the story!
Until the Chamber of secrets, ginny was just like any other muggle mentioned in the...
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I don't consider the Harry Potter Wiki as reliable. Because according to its canon policy: if Rowling hasn't specifically denied something about a film in the buku atau in other words, whatever the films say is to be first and foremost promoted in the artikel-artikel as a canon fact instead of the books' facts.

In my logic it should be the other way around. That the books' canon should be promoted first and foremost - exactly becasuse the buku are the tier 1 canon and the Filem only the tier 2 atau 3 even - and because we can not be sure what about the films are from Rowling's hints and what are just...
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"Mother! Let's go! We need to go to Diagon Ally!", Draco rushed his mom. "Alright! Alright! Don't rush! There will be plenty of things left to buy", Narcissa snapped at her son. They soon headed off for Diagon Ally.Draco read the letter.

Dear My.Malfoy
We are pleased to inform anda that anda have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and
Wizardry. Please find enclosed a senarai of all
necessary buku and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl sejak no later than July 31.
Yours Sincerely,
Minerva McMGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry
_____________________________________________...
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He’s back.

And Naperville was there to welcome him.

More than a thousand peminat-peminat of the world’s kegemaran wizard gathered at Naperville’s AMC Showplace Theatre for the midnight premiere of “link” It is the first installment of a two-part film, based on the final book in the J.K. Rowling series.

Many in attendance had pre-purchased their tickets weeks lalu and started arriving at the south Naperville cinema as early as 6 p.m. Thursday. An jam before the scheduled release, peminat-peminat were seated in eight of the 16 theaters, and additional showings were scheduled for 3:15 a.m. Friday.

While striped...
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The seventh (and penultimate) film is berkata to have ‘a very different feel from the other movies’ as for the first time the action does not centre around Hogwarts.
Harry, Ron and Hermione are on the run, thrust into what Ron (Rupert Grint) calls ‘a scary and unpredictable world where anyone could be working for Voldemort’ as they cari for the remaining horcruxes in order to defeat the Dark Lord.

To whet your appetite we’ve conjured up some truly wizard facts about ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’:

• The film’s budget is estimated to have been £150 million. John Hurt...
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C H A P T E R O N E

MIDNIGHT BREAK IN

It was a beautiful, bright, sunny morning, and everyone was outside, having the time of their lives, for school was near. All except one boy on privet Drive.

Harry Potter sat on his bed, locked in his room, waiting for his owl, Hedwig, to return. She had gone to deliver letters to Harry's Friends four nights lalu and still hasn't returned.

The Dursleys had gone to a summer party. They were probably having a great time, while Harry was in his room. The party was supposed to last until midnight. Harry started to feel sleepy, then the room went black.

Harry...
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posted by hannahbanana99
I first thought Harry Potter was really stupid. Then one hari it was on Disney Channel and there was nothing else to watch so I watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone. At the end of the movie I was shocked. I LOVED IT!!! I got the whole series of buku and got 1-5 the Filem for Christmas. Now I read each book 3 times and probably know every single word for the Filem 1-6. I am so crazy for harry potter that i did this. There was a harry potter and the half blood prince movie menunjukkan time at 3:00 a.m.!!!!!! Me and my cousin (18 yrs. old counsin) stayed up till 2:45 in the morning and went to go see harry potter 6 at 3 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so intrested in the movie i didnt even fall asleep. We were the only ones in the movie theatre
Possibility one: Offer yourself as a babysitter for Hagrid's pets.

Especially recommended to: People who are not afraid of a painful death

Assumed probability of success: Depends on your skill

Possible reason for failure: Hagrid has just locked himself up in his cabin, refusing to listen to your offer, because of the latest attack on his self-esteem.

Side effects: Might break Hagrid's hati, tengah-tengah if anda get into a close relationship with him.

Possibility two: Dig up Voldemort's corpse, take a Polyjuice Potion with a part of him and tunjuk yourself in public.

Especially recommended to: good actors and actresses...
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Part two of my parody :) I do not own Harry Potter atau A Midsummer Night's Dream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FLITWICK
Is all our company here?

JAMES
You were best to call them generally, man sejak man,
according to the script.

FLITWICK
Here is the scroll of every man's name, which is
thought fit, through all Hogsmead, to play in our
interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his
wedding-day at night.

JAMES
First, good Filius Flitwick, say what the play treats
on, then read the names of the actors, and so grow
to a point.

FLITWICK
Our play is, The Most Lamentable Comedy, and
Most Cruel...
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I do not own Harry Potter, atau A Midsummer Night's Dream. I did have a dream in summer one time, though...I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CORNELIUS
Now, Lydia, our nuptial hour
Draws on apace; four happy days bring in
Another moon: but, O, methinks, how slow
This old moon wanes! She lingers my desires,
Like to a step-dame atau a dowager
Long withering out a young man revenue.

LYDIA
Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Of our solemnities.

CORNELIUS...
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Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe.)
Author: WolfAngel'JR (in FanFiction.Net -bendaimmortal here.)
Characters: Barty Crouch Jr., Barty Crouch Sr. & Mrs. (Caroline) Crouch.

Summary: The Crouch family, the hari they save the son from Azkaban. Begins with a look into Junior’s feelings throughout his tahun in there but focuses on the hari they save him. As always, in my very different interpretation. This is a one-shot.

-----------------

A/N I know most people see them in a completely different light but no flaming, please because this view does make all the sense in the world and it is actually...
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posted by e2mma2weasle3
10 Ways to Annoy Bellatrix Lestrange

1) Suggest that Voldemort thinks that Pettigrew is a lebih capable Death Eater than she is.
2) Send apparitions of the Longbottoms after her, never letting her rest.
3) Post Harry Potter peminat type things all over her Azkaban cell.
4) Keep bringing up her sister, Andromeda, in conversation.
5) Keep bringing up Tonks in conversation.
6) Impersonate Voldemort and make her believe that he’s into peace with Muggles.
7) Cut off her hair and dye what’s left orange; anda can tell her that her appearance improves with the “Annie Lennox” look.
8) “Confiscate” her...
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1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter buku and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from anda (Example: When in a car atau an elevator). If anda don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Krismas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their kegemaran song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their peti masuk with...
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1. Tell her Ron proposed to Lavender in Madam Puddifoot's.

2. Tell her McGonagall berkata that her keseluruhan OWL results would have been a T, but they decided that would have been an insult to trolls.

3. Frequently inquire as to why she is wasting time knitting all those woolly bladders and leaving them lying around the common room.

4. When anda ask why she's angry with Pansy Parkinson, and she tells anda it's because Pansy just compared her to a chipmunk, act confused and say: "But why are anda so upset? I thought anda valued honesty in others?"

5. Whenever something in Hogwarts isn't working properly,...
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I have loved harry potter sinse i first saw the movie. I read all the buku 14 times each. there so good. My favourite character is Lucious. he is so cool. i also like voldemort,hes cool. Its the best. I went to c the new movie and its soooooo good. I Cinta harry potter.it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
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