Will anda read my story?

I'm Penulisan a story about a 15-year old girl. She has to do many things like babysitting her little sister. And she doesn't like this...
I'm from Austtia and the story is in German. Can anyone please read it(who speaks german) and tell me his/her opinion in a comment? That would be great. I will post the first part here. It will be called: "Spotlight" part 1.