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a sneak peak of a story im making its called storytime... do u like it?

STORYTIME
Lily… will anda tell me a story before I go to bed? I guess… what story? Not a real story in a book… we can make one up! Well… ok. Yay… thank anda SO much!!! Your Welcome. Oh Yeah and sejak the way why do anda like making up stories so much with me? ….. Caitlin??? Oh… sorry I just got tired. Ok, but this story HAS to be quick. Ok. Lily, can anda start. Yes.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Caitlin and she was magic… she could do anything she wanted to whenever she wanted. She was the luckiest girl in the world.

What just happened Lily? I have no idea… I just turned magic. Hey… maybe… everything anda tell me in the story comes true. Ok Lily… can anda finish the story? Yes.

She could go to different places in less than 2 seconds!

Let me try. Ok. I want to go to Florida….. OH MY GOD… is this real? Am I actually in Florida. Yes. I want to go home! Ok now where back home. Lets finish the story. Ok.

Caitlin? Are anda awake? I guess she isn’t awake.
Good morning Catlin. Good morning mommy! Come on anda and Lily have to get ready for school. Ok. LILY WAKE UP!!! Ok mom, no need to be harsh! Ok miss smarty pants. Really mom, isn’t that saying from the 60’s atau something? Fine don’t awnser me, but I know you’re just not awnsering me because anda know im right. anda ARE NOT RIGHT! Ok. Im done. anda don’t have to announce that, Lily! Ok. Caitlin anda are so lucky because mom is nice to anda because you’re only 10 and she thinks that just because you’re younger that anda should be treated better. Ok come on Caitlin I have to walk anda to school. Ok.





 rolie1 posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Penulisan Jawapan

BaybieBetty009 said:
It's ok... anda know? It's got potential and all. Didn't compmletely WOW me but it's alright. :)
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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thanks
rolie1 posted hampir setahun yang lalu
OneFoggyNight said:
I think it could evolve alittle more,dont you? Like, detail, and maybe make it a bit slower.
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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ok
rolie1 posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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thanks 4 the tip!
rolie1 posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Always a pleasure ^-^
OneFoggyNight posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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