A little while after the holidays, Alice left for California. It wasn't long before I felt the despair of loneliness. Alice was the only one I've really talked to for months. Once she was gone, for the first time in a long time it felt like I had really run away. Not like I had gone to a selamat, peti deposit keselamatan haven, but like I really was in an unfamiliar town.
I went to work , and Alice had only been gone for two days. Work just wasn't fun that day. I found it harder to be nice to rude customers, and the hari seemed endless.
"Yeah, Alice kind of brings light to this place, huh?" Georgie, the cook asked. I nodded as I wiped down the bar table. "Eh, she'll be back seterusnya week, right? we can make it," he chuckled.
On the third hari of Alice's absence, a wave of panic hit me. Inside, I felt something pushing against my stomach. It felt like someone was jabbing their thumb into my stomach. I freaked out. I gasped and dropped the tray of Makanan all over the floor. I just hadn't been expecting it. Time in the makan, kantin seemed to stop, and everyone stared at me. I stood there, my mouth wide open like an idiot, and stared at my stomach. It still wasn't obvious that I was pregnant, it just looked like I was gaining a little weight.
I slowly looked up to see the entire makan, kantin looking at me. Some people looked mad, others worried, some looked like they'd burst out laughing. I bowed my head and went to the dapur to get a mop.
"I need anda to remake that last order, Georgie," I told him. He was still at the stove, unaware of what had just happened. He furrowed his eyebrows.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said, wiping syrup off my apron. "I just tripped." He laughed.
"Graceful like a swan, Kodi." I rolled my eyes.
After my shift, I went straight utama as usual. I felt the thing inside me kick once more, and I winced. When I got home, I stood in front of the full-body mirror again. I rolled my baju over my stomach and turned to my side. With my stomach exposed, it was starting to be obvious that there was something inside me... and not food. I pulled my baju down again, and luckily the thick sweater covered it up almost completely.
Work at the makan, kantin continued smoothly but slowly, and I no longer paniced whenever something inside me moved and bumped.
Finally, on the eighth day, Alice returned.
"Alice!" I shouted when I came into work. She was already there, opening up. I jumped up and hugged her and she hugged me back. I squeezed her close, and it felt as if I hadn't seen her in years, rather than days. She let go, and took a step back, eyeing me.
"Kodi... Did you..." she stared at me, her eyebrows furrowed, and waved her hands, gesturing to me.
"What," I asked. She paused, then smiled.
"Oh, nothing," she grinned, "It's nothing. anda look great. I missed you," she pulled me into another hug. Work was much mroe enjoyable that day, and I didn't drop anymore trays atau anything.
Another bulan passed, and I'm sure Alice was convinced that I was just gaining a lot of weight. But she was real nice about it and didn't say anything. I felt bad that I never told her the truth, and one day, I planned to tell her everything. She was always honest and I knew she could keep a secret. I went into work that day, and berkata hi to Alice.
"Hi." she said, not looking up from the meja, jadual she was cleaning.
"You ok?" I asked, grabbing my apron from the hook on the wall.
"I'm fine," she snapped. Seeing that she was in a mood, we didn't talk much that day. The makan, kantin was pretty full that day, so most of us ended up staying real late.
"I'm out," Georgie said, giving us a thumbs up and then leaving the diner. Now all that was left was me and Alice. She still hadn't talked to me all day. Now she was busy silently bringing in all the dirty dishes into the dapur to the dishwasher. I was putting the chairs on bahagian, atas of the tables so that the floors could be cleaned.
"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked finally as she came from the kitchen. She stopped and stared at me, looking disappointed.
"Kodi, I thought we were honest with each other," she said. I nodded slowly.
"Yes...? We are." She walked behind the counter and I followed her, standing on the other side. She grabbed something from a shelf behind it and slammed it down onto the counter so I could see.
"Then what the hell is this," she demanded. I looked down and my eyes grew huge. It was the "Missing Persons" poster. Of me.
"Alice, I..." I didn't know what to say. Even though I had planned to tell her everything, now I was seriously regretting it.
"Why didn't anda tell me?" Alice asked, tears welled up in her eyes. "All this time, when I thought I knew you, anda were listed as a missing person?! I mean, what the fuck is that about?! Why are anda here??"
Alice, I can explain everything!' I pleaded.
"I don't want to hear it! I called the number, Kodi." My hati, tengah-tengah stopped.
"You what?!" I shrieked.
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?!" A tear made its way down her cheek. "The man berkata he was coming as soon as he could."
"When did anda call him," I whispered. She didn't answer. I glared at her. 'When did anda call him, Alice?!"
"This afternoon! I saw the poster this morning, and I was going to talk to anda about it, but... I don't know! I called this afternoon when I was on break!" I grabbed the side of the counter for support. Everything I had set up in this town over the months was gone. I didn't know what to do. Shiloh was coming. Even though my hati, tengah-tengah ached to see him, that meant he'd take me home. And if Dad didn't kill me, Ty definitely would. People would wonder how I became pregnant, and when the baby didn't look like Shiloh... And there was no way I would tell anyone that I had had sex with Ty voluntarily.
Before she could do anything, I turned and ran out of the diner. I grabbed my keys out of my pocket and got in my car, and flew to the motel as fast as I could. Hurriedly, I grabbed all my things from the motel and threw it in my car. I grabbed all the money I had made since I've been here. Once again, I was leaving a place that I had called home.
Getting back into my car, I drove straight out of town, the warmth and loving-ness of the town disappeared as I did, although it disappeared lebih gracefully and subtly.
I ended up in a place near the city, and drove around looking for a place to stay. For all I could tell, the only places were expensive hotels. Soon it grew too late, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. The thing inside my stomach kicked again, and I clenched my fists. It was this thing's fault. It was the thing inside me and Ty's fault that I was here; that I had to give up everything.
I parked in a gracery store parking lot, and turned the engine off. I sat there in my car, which was growing colder. The only thing that allowed me to see was the jalan lamp that I was parked under. The light illuminated the light snow that fell, glazing the lot with a thin sheet. I sighed and climbed over the seats into the back of my car. I pushed my suitcase off into the trunk, and made a small katil along the backseats. I made myself a cacoon with my blankets, and laid my head on the pillow. They were ice cold, but soon my body heat warmed them up a little.
That was my first real night as a runaway.
*************************************************************************************************************
Please komen and tell me what anda think! :)
I went to work , and Alice had only been gone for two days. Work just wasn't fun that day. I found it harder to be nice to rude customers, and the hari seemed endless.
"Yeah, Alice kind of brings light to this place, huh?" Georgie, the cook asked. I nodded as I wiped down the bar table. "Eh, she'll be back seterusnya week, right? we can make it," he chuckled.
On the third hari of Alice's absence, a wave of panic hit me. Inside, I felt something pushing against my stomach. It felt like someone was jabbing their thumb into my stomach. I freaked out. I gasped and dropped the tray of Makanan all over the floor. I just hadn't been expecting it. Time in the makan, kantin seemed to stop, and everyone stared at me. I stood there, my mouth wide open like an idiot, and stared at my stomach. It still wasn't obvious that I was pregnant, it just looked like I was gaining a little weight.
I slowly looked up to see the entire makan, kantin looking at me. Some people looked mad, others worried, some looked like they'd burst out laughing. I bowed my head and went to the dapur to get a mop.
"I need anda to remake that last order, Georgie," I told him. He was still at the stove, unaware of what had just happened. He furrowed his eyebrows.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said, wiping syrup off my apron. "I just tripped." He laughed.
"Graceful like a swan, Kodi." I rolled my eyes.
After my shift, I went straight utama as usual. I felt the thing inside me kick once more, and I winced. When I got home, I stood in front of the full-body mirror again. I rolled my baju over my stomach and turned to my side. With my stomach exposed, it was starting to be obvious that there was something inside me... and not food. I pulled my baju down again, and luckily the thick sweater covered it up almost completely.
Work at the makan, kantin continued smoothly but slowly, and I no longer paniced whenever something inside me moved and bumped.
Finally, on the eighth day, Alice returned.
"Alice!" I shouted when I came into work. She was already there, opening up. I jumped up and hugged her and she hugged me back. I squeezed her close, and it felt as if I hadn't seen her in years, rather than days. She let go, and took a step back, eyeing me.
"Kodi... Did you..." she stared at me, her eyebrows furrowed, and waved her hands, gesturing to me.
"What," I asked. She paused, then smiled.
"Oh, nothing," she grinned, "It's nothing. anda look great. I missed you," she pulled me into another hug. Work was much mroe enjoyable that day, and I didn't drop anymore trays atau anything.
Another bulan passed, and I'm sure Alice was convinced that I was just gaining a lot of weight. But she was real nice about it and didn't say anything. I felt bad that I never told her the truth, and one day, I planned to tell her everything. She was always honest and I knew she could keep a secret. I went into work that day, and berkata hi to Alice.
"Hi." she said, not looking up from the meja, jadual she was cleaning.
"You ok?" I asked, grabbing my apron from the hook on the wall.
"I'm fine," she snapped. Seeing that she was in a mood, we didn't talk much that day. The makan, kantin was pretty full that day, so most of us ended up staying real late.
"I'm out," Georgie said, giving us a thumbs up and then leaving the diner. Now all that was left was me and Alice. She still hadn't talked to me all day. Now she was busy silently bringing in all the dirty dishes into the dapur to the dishwasher. I was putting the chairs on bahagian, atas of the tables so that the floors could be cleaned.
"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked finally as she came from the kitchen. She stopped and stared at me, looking disappointed.
"Kodi, I thought we were honest with each other," she said. I nodded slowly.
"Yes...? We are." She walked behind the counter and I followed her, standing on the other side. She grabbed something from a shelf behind it and slammed it down onto the counter so I could see.
"Then what the hell is this," she demanded. I looked down and my eyes grew huge. It was the "Missing Persons" poster. Of me.
"Alice, I..." I didn't know what to say. Even though I had planned to tell her everything, now I was seriously regretting it.
"Why didn't anda tell me?" Alice asked, tears welled up in her eyes. "All this time, when I thought I knew you, anda were listed as a missing person?! I mean, what the fuck is that about?! Why are anda here??"
Alice, I can explain everything!' I pleaded.
"I don't want to hear it! I called the number, Kodi." My hati, tengah-tengah stopped.
"You what?!" I shrieked.
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?!" A tear made its way down her cheek. "The man berkata he was coming as soon as he could."
"When did anda call him," I whispered. She didn't answer. I glared at her. 'When did anda call him, Alice?!"
"This afternoon! I saw the poster this morning, and I was going to talk to anda about it, but... I don't know! I called this afternoon when I was on break!" I grabbed the side of the counter for support. Everything I had set up in this town over the months was gone. I didn't know what to do. Shiloh was coming. Even though my hati, tengah-tengah ached to see him, that meant he'd take me home. And if Dad didn't kill me, Ty definitely would. People would wonder how I became pregnant, and when the baby didn't look like Shiloh... And there was no way I would tell anyone that I had had sex with Ty voluntarily.
Before she could do anything, I turned and ran out of the diner. I grabbed my keys out of my pocket and got in my car, and flew to the motel as fast as I could. Hurriedly, I grabbed all my things from the motel and threw it in my car. I grabbed all the money I had made since I've been here. Once again, I was leaving a place that I had called home.
Getting back into my car, I drove straight out of town, the warmth and loving-ness of the town disappeared as I did, although it disappeared lebih gracefully and subtly.
I ended up in a place near the city, and drove around looking for a place to stay. For all I could tell, the only places were expensive hotels. Soon it grew too late, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. The thing inside my stomach kicked again, and I clenched my fists. It was this thing's fault. It was the thing inside me and Ty's fault that I was here; that I had to give up everything.
I parked in a gracery store parking lot, and turned the engine off. I sat there in my car, which was growing colder. The only thing that allowed me to see was the jalan lamp that I was parked under. The light illuminated the light snow that fell, glazing the lot with a thin sheet. I sighed and climbed over the seats into the back of my car. I pushed my suitcase off into the trunk, and made a small katil along the backseats. I made myself a cacoon with my blankets, and laid my head on the pillow. They were ice cold, but soon my body heat warmed them up a little.
That was my first real night as a runaway.
*************************************************************************************************************
Please komen and tell me what anda think! :)
Shaun
I wonder, sometimes, if she ever thinks of me.
If she knows that I kept only one picture of her. Anything else was just too painful. In the picture, she doesn't know I am taking it until the camera flash goes off. She has been sitting at the meja in her old bedroom, and she is half-smiling.
**************************************************
I walk up to her, not breaking eye contact. Nothing existed but her.
The little girl was perched on her hip.
I trailed my fingers down her jawline. She still didn't move.
"Why did anda leave?"
I wonder, sometimes, if she ever thinks of me.
If she knows that I kept only one picture of her. Anything else was just too painful. In the picture, she doesn't know I am taking it until the camera flash goes off. She has been sitting at the meja in her old bedroom, and she is half-smiling.
**************************************************
I walk up to her, not breaking eye contact. Nothing existed but her.
The little girl was perched on her hip.
I trailed my fingers down her jawline. She still didn't move.
"Why did anda leave?"
Time is just a thing.
anda can't ever have to little.
anda can always have enough.
But when anda look at it,
our lives are just a piece.
A piece of what time has to give.
So why not live the fullest,
to what we can.
Why waste it wishing,
on something you'll never have.
Let time do its own thing,
so we can do ours.
anda see time is mysterious.
It controls our lives.
And in one quick second,
our time may be up.
So take what you're given,
and give nothing back.
With time nothing is ever what it seems.
anda can't ever have to little.
anda can always have enough.
But when anda look at it,
our lives are just a piece.
A piece of what time has to give.
So why not live the fullest,
to what we can.
Why waste it wishing,
on something you'll never have.
Let time do its own thing,
so we can do ours.
anda see time is mysterious.
It controls our lives.
And in one quick second,
our time may be up.
So take what you're given,
and give nothing back.
With time nothing is ever what it seems.
Photograph by Ansel Adams
I'm just drifting, drifting down this road.
The dust kicking up behind me,
Just a awan to hide my past.
My feet don't leave any footprints,
My name never graces those lips
That I'm watching from a distance,
A distance that grows greater
As I'm drifting, drifting down this road.
I'm not on the way to anything great,
I'm just hiding, hiding down in the dark.
The shadows closing in around me,
Just a blanket to smother my past.
My eyes can't see in the gloom,
My voice never breaks the silence
That I keep deep in my heart,
A hati, tengah-tengah that grows blacker
As I'm drifting, drifting in the dark.
