anda wake up under a shady willow with a vague semblance of what anda had dreamt.
anda have dozed off again. And no wonder, there is a good book in your lap and your kegemaran songs are still crackling through your earbuds. anda ought to replace them, they are going bad. anda pull them out and decide to listen to nature’s Muzik instead. The soft gurgle of the pond coupled with catkins rustling against each other has always been your kegemaran blend of sounds. Every now and again your ear is filled with the nearly undetectable buzz of a cicada humming past. anda aren’t quite sure, but anda think that the last bug to flitter sejak may have been a bumblebee in cari of a bunga to land upon. The springtime has brought a host of such flowers—lilac, daisy, honeysuckle, a sprinkle of nannyberry, and a dash of virginia rose add pops of color to the lawn. Beneath the pokok clover and dandelion grow in dense clusters, growing lebih sparse as they span away from the tree. Further off in the rolling field is a host of meadowsweet and steeplebush just getting ready to sprout. anda pluck a clover and twirl it between your fingers.

A tupai scrambles down the pokok and flicks his tail at you. And when anda go to snap a photo, he has the audacity to toss an acorn at anda with a chitter before frantically scuttling off. For that reason, anda preferred the rabbits.

anda lean back against the pokok and look at the sky, soon the sound of children laughing overpowers the bird calls and pond babble. Two boys fly kites shaped like dragonflies as a younger girl with blonde pigtails and a sundress blows a awan of bubbles. She calls for the boys to come try to catch them before they pop. The boy with the red hair and dinosaur t-shirt tells her that they are too busy. The older boy with the blonde hair tells her to ask Katie. Sooner atau later she’d invite a friend over to help her catch Rama-rama as she does every Saturday afternoon. But until then she could use some company, so anda offer to sertai her. She smiles cheerfully and tells anda that her name is Louisiana-Piper. anda tell her yours and say that you’ve never met a girl named Louisiana before. She giggles and hands anda a bubble wand, instructing anda on how to use it. anda keep her entertained until Katie arrives. Just as anda start to leave, they ask anda to help them catch rama-rama, taman rama-rama that has flown out of reach. anda lose track of time. Eventually the blonde boy, who anda have come to know is her brother, Parker, calls her to follow him home. Faintly, anda miss being that young.

anda pick up your book and watch a sneeze of dandelion seeds take to the air. They coast lazily about, seeking good places to land. anda mark your page and tuck it safely away in your bag. It is nearly eight thirty but it still not quite dark yet, the days are growing longer and anda know now that spring is fading away. anda will miss it of course, but the summer solstice has its own glories that anda enjoy almost as strongly as vernal ones.

anda stretch your arms and decide that your time at the park is done for the day. anda walk utama with the twilight in its saat stage. There is a deep blue in the sky, pushing the Warna of the sunset down. A few clouds cluster near the drooping sun as a few stars pop into view. anda feel bad because your parents are probably worried, anda always seem to spend too much time at the park and arrive utama when there’s lebih navy in the sky than oranges and golds.

When anda get utama anda see your mother and her friend just beginning to fold up a picnic blanket. Fleetingly, anda wonder why they didn’t accompany anda to the park, the scenery over there was much lebih suitable for an outdoor lunch. Your neighbor is also packing away his air limau stand, he offers anda a cup. Deciding that it would be a nice way to end a fine May evening, anda flip him a quarter and take a cup. anda watch the sun dip completely below the horizon as sugary citrus explodes on your tongue. As the neighbor kid retreats into his house—no doubt rushed sejak his father calling him a fourth time—you wander into your back yard. A week atau so from now, fireflies will dance in between rama-rama, taman rama-rama bushes and garden gnomes. anda think that anda might catch a few if anda find the time, but anda have promised your father that anda would help put up some summer décor. Your grandmother has been particularly adamant about trying something she’d seen on Pinterest. She has been asking your father to save small jars and bottles so that anda can make strings of lights of them. She tells him that your grandfather has a knack for such things and can help put it together. Though anda don’t fancy actually putting the lights up, anda think that they will add a nice, almost rural, touch to the yard. anda finish your lemonade. Though the night is early, anda can hear the yip of a coyote.

anda look towards the forest just beyond your backyard. Windchimes tinkle behind you, somehow coaxing anda to recall the days when anda would chase fae and sing with elves. The days when anda would swim with nixies in the pond and catch glimpses of unikorn in the sunrays that filtered between the leaves. The days when faeries awakened when Bunga opened their petals. Just like that anda remember your dream in full.
Suddenly it doesn’t feel like a dream at all.
anda look at your hand expecting to see a rope bracelet.

***

anda leave your bedroom window open with the curtains billowing and casting shadows, the night time has never bothered you. Some people are jarred sejak the concept of a forest looming in the background, they think that an open window is an invitation for the shadows to crawl in and wreak havoc. anda can understand how that would be daunting for some, the forest is a host of odd noises and weird night creatures—uncanny foils to their morning counterparts. But anda are used to them all.
In fact anda couldn’t imagine a night without such sounds.
They have lulled anda to sleep since your coloring book days.

anda listen to the distant night calls until anda are almost asleep and just on the brink of a dream. anda hear a tapping at the window, it doesn’t set in right away that the tapping is not the beginning of a new dream. The tapping persists, but your visitor doesn’t invite itself in just yet. Though pale green fingers curl around the frame, and when anda come to full wakefulness anda catch, on the tip of each finger, the teeniest emeralds glistening under the moonlight. The fingers drum against the pane again. Perhaps this is what many fear. But anda don’t, anda go to the window as if answering the call of an old companion. The half-imp, half-dryad looks at anda with eyes of gold, his mossy hair flutters like the curtains. His wings twitter frantically, during their upstrokes they tunjuk a gossamer zaitun color and beating down they display yellower hues. He looks like a hari rising faery and anda wonder what he is doing up so late. He drifts away from your window and anda decide that such is your cue to follow.

anda consider that anda are in fact in a dream, that anda must not have realized that anda fell asleep. That makes it easier to grab your iPod and slip through the window. The moon is in a late waxing phase, the bulan will end with a full moon. Under its light anda can see the sparkle of dew drops, they wet the soles of your bare feet. The cricket chirps are a lot clearer now, there is a choir of them but anda can’t decipher the lyrics. Every now and again a pokok frog atau two will chime in. anda breathe in the night air; it is fresh, mostly. Mixed in with the damp smell of old leaves is something lebih acidic. Just at the border of your yard, where the rumput begins to grow taller and intermingles with clusters of rye, anda spot small twinkles of light. At first anda think that they might be fireflies, but it is still too early in the tahun for that. Even if it wasn’t, these tiny orbs glow teal. A long time lalu when anda still sat on grandmother’s lap, listening to her sing lullabies anda heard a story. It was a fairy tale that had been passed down for generations, from here is where anda know what those softly luminescent orbs are.
Despite the stories anda trek up to the tiny wisps. Once upon a time, in a story far away, these creatures were malevolent, leading the unsuspecting into traitorous parts of the forest. But like most of the faefolk, they have mellowed. There are no lebih forlorn creatures and no lebih Enchanted beings, no light nor dark; Ogre and elf, troll and pixie, vampire and stayer, they just want to stay alive and vibrant. anda hear the windchimes jingle on your patio again. The will-o-wisps buzz around, zipping towards the pokok line. The imp-dryad seats himself upon one of the wisps and eyes anda just as curiously as anda eye him. It must have been centuries since a human older than twelve has acknowledged him atau a being like him. Curious indeed.
But the things anda acknowledge in dreams are different than the ones anda acknowledge in waking.
As languid as can be, the wisp carries the imp-dryad towards its companions.

So you, after one last peek at your slumbering house, head in the same direction. anda Cinta the forest after all. It isn’t frightening in the slightest, it is a comfort.
It is home.

anda pass under a natural arch of old oak. Cedar and pine intertwine with the oaks making the forest diverse and inviting. Their scents mix together and anda cannot tell which odor belongs to which tree. anda see a beetle scuttle over the bark and decide not to touch any of the trees. The wisps light your way as anda traipse about. anda have been in this very forest for many years—your mother is fond of reminding anda that she used to take anda for walks here when anda were just a babe, she of course, did all of the walking. But this is the first time anda can think of that anda have ventured here during the night hours. Under the moon it is familiar in a surreal sense. The trail is accented sejak the same sizable rocks that have been there for ages. They didn’t have as much moss when anda were a child, as they do now. The collection of fungi poking out from under them is new too. From somewhere within the branches of a cedar, an owl hoots. It is mysterious enough and darkly alluring but it is not eerie nor mournful. It is followed sejak a higher hoot and then a deeper one that sounds much closer. anda think that, that third call might have come from the oak seterusnya to you. anda squint up at the pokok but can make out nothing. anda wish that anda had brought your flashlight, your iPod’s light will do just well, but it feels somehow less appropriate.

anda would like to gawk some lebih but the swarm of wisps are waiting, anda don’t know where they are going to lead anda but anda don’t want to leave them waiting for too long. For a moment anda long to dash into the swarm and let those beads of light dance around you, but anda guess that doing so might be seen as invasive so anda keep your distance as they lead anda deeper into the forest. The trees pack themselves lebih tightly as anda trail further in. One might think it would be oppressive, but anda feel as though the trees in their density offer anda better protection. sejak the time the wisps stop moving anda find yourself in a clearing. What anda see throws anda right back into your childhood and for the first time in ages your imagination has fuel. Dream atau not, anda find yourself in the midst of something anda know is very special. anda don’t know the occasion, but celebration is all around you. There is decoration all around. Most of it consists of yew and floral garland. anda see it dangling from branches and wrapped around pokok trunks, merah jambu Ros and daisy climbs all the way up. In other places wisteria clings to the trees; this spectacle can’t possibly be real as anda have never seen wisteria in these parts before. But then, you’ve never seen an imp-dryad either. Golden glitter seems to hang in the air, leaving a fine dust on your clothes and in your hair. Everywhere anda look there are hovering paper lanterns mostly in greens, purples, blues. Upon giving one a gentle tap anda realize that they are not part of the décor. The delicate being nips at anda and bobs away, taking its light with it.

anda find yourself dazzled sejak fairy music. A fairy with a harp, a satyr with a pan pipe, and an elf with a hurdy gurdy. There is also a centaur playing an instrument you’ve never seen before that moment. It is silver in make and has a tube-like body. anda may have taken it for a flute if not for the spindly spines that rise and fall with each note. Many of the pixies, elves, and faeries spin and twirl gracefully to the beat of the song. Bells tied around their ankles tinkle as their dresses of lace and flora swish fluidly about.

anda can see so many different creatures gathered about. There are a few gnomes intermingling with dwarves and goblins. Further into the forest a few witch covens make conversation with vampires. The Serigala Jadian huddle near the faun. A cluster of talking mice with iridescent bulu skitter at the feet of a winged dog. anda even glimpse a few miniature dragons. Though lacking in size their scales are magnificent, splayed over their bodies like shiny tie-dye. Most of them boast the Warna of the most breathtaking sunset, some of them ripple in blues, greens, and teals like that of untainted pond water and others have scales of pure silver dipped at the edges in emas dust. Oh, but there is such a variety anda can’t possibly keep track of it all.

As anda marvel at the dragons, the elven kin offer anda berries and diced mushrooms on platters bordered with pinecone scales. Others offer anda a chance to dance with them. anda take them up on their offers and dance until anda are ready to return to your bed.

***

anda want to go back to the park, but daily tasks call anda away from it. anda have a senarai of mundane things to do from the laundry to some vacuuming, each task is as dull as the next. Between loads of berkata laundry, anda find yourself picking up some of the clutter anda let accumulate in your room—better to do it yourself than to wait for your mother to cause a stir over it. As anda do so, anda cast longing glances at your book shelf. A few of your kegemaran titles are calling you. The voices of the ones you’ve been meaning to read cry louder. But anda are forced to ignore them for now. anda promise that anda will come back for them when anda get the chance, even if it’s only a page atau two before bed.

Your relief today comes in the form of your father reminding anda that anda still have to help him string the lights out around the patio and the in the trees so that your grandma will have something to smile upon. At least with this chore anda can go out and get some fresh summer air instead of remaining cooped up in your house. So anda tell him that anda will be downstairs in just a moment. anda change from your pajamas into your shorts and your kegemaran summer tee. You’re dad is already outside, getting a head start on the task, sejak the time anda have finished dressing.

As anda work to put up the first strand, anda peer into the forest. Your dream from about a week lalu comes back to the surface.
A swarm of gnats play in the tall rumput near where the forest opens up. And a family of Rama-rama flutter around its natural oak entrance, where vines and something that looks like wisteria dangle down. A generous amount of sunlight casts itself upon the spot. It looks simply enchanting and as majestic as a forest ought to. Ivy curls around trumpet vine and creeps up the bark of the oak. Those little orange Bunga are exactly the kind that would house a teeny fairy baby.
And for a moment anda believe again.

For no other reason than to humor yourself, anda stray from the strand of lights and motion to peel a petal back. But before anda get the chance to peep into the bunga your father beckons anda to stay on task as your grandparents would arrive any minit now. anda sigh, the bunga and the fantasies it brings will have to wait. A lady bug with a shell like a dotted red pearl springs from the trumpet flower. As a child anda used to chase them around the yard, letting them crawl along your fingers. anda climb back atop your ladder and finish weaving the strand of homemade lights through the branches. anda step down to admire your work. Between yourself and your father, the new decorations are looking pretty spiffy. The two of anda keep up until all of the trees in your yard get their share. In the daylight they look like ordinary jars but once anda plug them in, they will look as mystical as everything else in the garden. anda are eager for night just so that anda can see the full glory of your work. Briefly anda consider that it would have been lebih suiting to set candles in each jar instead of a bulb, anda vocalize this to your father. He disagrees, stating that doing so would be too tedious and time consuming anyhow. As anda are about to leave, he asks anda if anda will help him clean the gutters. It is a task he has been neglecting for months now and your mother has been arguing with him to get it done. Deciding that anda don’t want to hear it again, anda agree. anda might as well seeing as most of today has been eaten up sejak housework anyhow.

The seterusnya morning is even less thrilling. It starts with the bleating of your alarm clock, stealing anda away from a pretty dream and thrusting anda harshly back into real life. It would be less irritating if a long hari of work wasn’t in store for you. anda tug your uniform on and have a quick breakfast of two lempeng, penkek and some epal, apple juice. anda grab your car keys and head out. Your car is nice enough, anda suppose, it treats anda well and gets anda where anda need to go. That’s all anda can ask of it. anda arrive at work, a quaint little local coffee shop. Mostly it isn’t bad but there are some days when anda would rather curl up under one of those gaudy merah jambu and zaitun green striped tables and never come out. On those days anda yearn for the simplicity of childhood. The time when anda didn’t have to worry about Matilda and her ridiculously complicated orders and the hissy fits she throws when her latte isn’t done exactly right. anda have never come across someone so picky. Today is one of those days where she is screeching at anda because your coworker ‘didn’t heat it properly’. Your boss intervenes offering her a new one on the house, if for no other reason than to calm her tantrum. anda wish that she wouldn’t cave like that, but anda don’t say anything lest anda precure Matilda’s wrath again.

It is late when anda get home, so anda go upstairs and try to write. But no stories come to your head, so anda opt to surf the web instead, that comes naturally. Such is how it has been for a while now, all of your soul wants to put the pencil to the paper but no words seem to come and when they do they just don’t sound right. They don’t flow how they used to. anda click around for a bit and try to recall past ideas that anda never got around to Penulisan but anda can’t think of any. anda check your emails and watch a few videos. anda have another idea, anda begin flipping through your journal for stories that anda have never finished. No inspiration comes from there either, though anda have some pretty solid stories started anda have no idea where to take them. anda also fear that your Penulisan has become lackluster and will ruin something that looks so good. Finally frustrated out of your mind, anda put the journal away wondering where your Muse had fled to as anda frantically give one last attempt to collect the visages of your past creativity. When that fails too, anda retreat to your katil with a faint hope that perhaps your dreams will offer anda some new material, but lately anda have been struggling to recollect their content.

Work keeps anda busy for the days to come and anda don’t get a chance to go to the park until the saat week of June. It has been too long, watching fireflies blink in your yard just doesn’t cut it. So at the first chance anda get, anda grab a book, your journal, and your bike and anda set off. Despite the summer crowd, your kegemaran spot under the willow, the spot where you’d first put your journal to use, is unoccupied. Maybe sitting in your kegemaran spot again and enjoying nature’s energy will kindle your creative vibes. The field before anda now shows off delicate merah jambu azalea, white tri-petaled trillium, and the sunny yellow of daffodil. Near the hayun, swing set, before rumput turns to woodchip, a viburnum shrub has finally exploded with teeny white blossoms. The air is pleasantly hot as anda tap anda pencil onto the paper of your journal.

***

anda are lost, terribly so. It might not have been so bad except for the rain. The world around anda has a grey tinge to it and anda wonder if your family has noticed your absence. Really, all anda intended was to have a quick walk. The family reunion has been pleasant enough so far, but it is crowded and anda wanted to get a break from aunts with no sense of personal angkasa and overly loud uncles made louder sejak a few cans of beer. The nature reserve the reunion was being held at is a charming place; the ground is lined with toadstools and clover. To the left a field of rye bobs up and down under the spell of the summer breeze. Your family had made good work of the small trees, tying white lace to their branches and sprinkling faux diamond scatter at their feet. anda had watched dark clouds gather at the corner of the sky, all the while, the forest path was calling you. It had been calling anda since anda arrived. After an offhanded joke sejak uncle Marvin, anda decided that it was time to make your get away. anda probably should have told your parents anda were stepping out for a bit atau at the very least anda should have invited your cousin to tag along, she knows the area well. But anda didn’t think to do so and now anda are Lost in some forest of red maple and black birch in Connecticut, states away from your utama in Maine. It was wonderful at first, the sprinkle hadn’t yet turned into an all-out rainfall and anda remembered to take your camera along so anda had managed to snap a few foto-foto of the sweepy leaves of a hemlock pokok spotted with raindrops. The fluff of cottonwood fell upon anda with the raindrops giving the forest a rather fantastical allure. And because of the drizzle, many of the lebih annoying insects had fled. That should have been your first clue that anda were walking into a storm, instead anda felt relieved that anda didn’t have to swat at gnats the whole time. anda caught some of the fluff and put it in your pocket, anda don’t yet know what anda will use it for, but it seems like a nice thing to have. Something else caught your eye, a glistening in the bushes. When anda stooped down to see what it was, anda were disappointed to find a shard of a broken bottle. The rest of the thing like shattered a few feet away, marring an otherwise pristine view.
All of these things are what have distracted anda to the point of not being able to find your way back to the reserve.

Instead anda came out at the edge of an old steel mill. This is where anda stand now, at the edge of the forest, gazing at the ugly thing that nature is trying its best to reclaim. Its abandoned and in shambles but it has already done its damage. The structure is a tangle of rusting metal tubes and pipes, the kind that had inevitably, during their running days, hacked out enough smog to anger even the smokiest dragon. As of late these tubes and pipes have been conquered sejak creeping ivy, anda are pleased to see that the green tangle seems to be strangling the gaudy things. Rising from the bahagian, atas are smoke stakes of various sizes in various states of corrosion and decay. anda can see cracks in the fixtures. It isn’t your usual material, but anda take a quick picture regardless. As anda wander closer the ground becomes progressively trashier. The mill had vomited up screws, cogs, and scraps of unused metal. Broken steel beams hang precariously in the entryway. Curiosity gets the best of anda though and anda are inside before your brain sounds the warning bells. The angkasa is wide and ugly, the roof is a kaleidoscope of long dead pipes, crossbeams, and steel pillars with nuts and bolts bigger than your face. A few of the pipes that waterfall down the dinding sport pressure gauges and wheels used to open and shut the ventilation system. There is a power panel on the opposite dinding in which the ivy made its way in. rumput burst through cracks in the decomposing floor and curled around levers and metal spokes. The windows too are cracked, some to the point where they have holes. anda are most appalled though, sejak the miniature generator in the corner and its cluster of uranium fuel rods. anda remove yourself from the industrial jungle as quickly as anda had entered it.

anda continue down the road, trying to put some distance between yourself and the daunting mill. The rain is coming down in sheets now, coaxing the mist to thicken. In no longer eddies around your ankles, but blots out a good portion of your vision. anda hope that the rest of your family has made it inside safely. anda see figures poking through the mist—wooden skeletons that range in height from waist level to towering above your head. They are trees, anda realize, atau what’s left of them. They jut out of the ground like jagged fingers. The ground beneath them is a mess of twigs, crunchy leaves, flakes of bark, and sawdust. The remains of something that was once so breathtakingly powerful. The mist flows from their husks mournfully. anda take your camera out and hastily capture the somber display before the rain can damage it. anda can see a saw blade burrowed into one of the trees, anda walk closer intent on pulling the blade out.

As anda edge nearer, the air seems to glimmer and distorted as if someone has draped seran bungkus, balut over the landscape.