Preface:

It gets harder and harder to see Dominic each day. Every hari brings new pain, new longing, and new tears. I Cinta my boyfriend but Dominic has a certain affect on me that I can’t control. I am a terrible person….
When I’m not with him, I feel a relief from deception. But also, an opening into a deep pit that swallows me until I’m with him again. When I’m with Jason, I am partially taken from this hole. But there is still a awan looming over me, and the pit below me, threatening to menelan me at any minute. I try not to give in to the temptation if telling my Cinta how I feel and crushing the only man that has truly loved me. I struggle to make it through the darkness betrayal to the light that is Cinta and happiness. Sometimes I succeed, but then I’m pulled back into the omen of depression that swallowed my life in that first time I laid eyes on Dominic and turned it into the confusing black hole I now know. I need a sanctuary. But I don’t know where to find it. Even in my dreams, Dominic and Jason burrow their way unto my subconscious. Once I awake, sweaty and confused, I am slapped sejak reality and realize that I am in the same place I just was. Thinking if this, I cry myself back to sleep.
Back at school, a friend talks nonstop of Dominic. Her words haunt me. For every time I hear his name, my hati, tengah-tengah jumps and it thumps in my chest. I think Jason notices and I try to calm myself down, unsuccessfully. And she continues on as I try to tune out the Cinta that makes me want to rip out my hati, tengah-tengah and punish myself for being so wretched.
When I talk to Dominic, the world is right. As I look into his eyes that stare straight into the soul, my stomach jumps into my throat and I try to cope. He says something funny and I laugh flirtatiously. He smiles and laughs too and I try to hide that I stopped breathing.
We have so much in common, we can talk about anything. Through my dance classes with him a try not to look at him. I fail and we look into each other’s eyes for a brief moment. I look away and blush, I’m pretty sure he notices my cheeks turning pink…















Chapter 1
    “Oh! And Dominic told me the funniest joke yesterday!” Gema blabs on and on about Dom. Just like any other day. At that point I had learned to deal with it. Being an actress certainly helped me fake that I was not irritated. My brother, a professional actor and mask maker, taught me mostly all I know. One of the many things he showed me is how to behave the exact opposite of how anda are really feeling. So on the outside, I was my normal theatrical self. I was just Genoviv Ricci. Sophomore, book lover, actor, singer, dancer, Bola sepak player. My dark brown eyes glowed with the light of adventure, atau so I was told. And my bouncy blonde curls shined with their normal energy. My crazy clothes drew attention as usual. I didn’t care. That was one of the few things I didn’t have to fake.
    But on the inside, I was being ripped apart. I dreamt about a future with Dominic instead of my boyfriend Jason. I was torn between two men. Luckily for me, Dom was off limits. Gema was totally in Cinta with him. He was her first crush; I could have never done that to my dear friend. Also, Dom was a senior. Sophomores had no hope of dating a senior as amazing as Dominic. He was gorgeous, a singer, a dancer, an actor, and one the funniest people I have ever met in my life.
    “Eve, are anda listening?”
    I snapped back to reality.
    “Oh, yes. Sorry. Just thinking.”
    I heard a gasp from my right and I looked at Gema, her mouth was open.
    “What?”
    “You were thinking?”
    I chuckled. One thing I could never deny was my laughter. I loved to laugh.
    “Shut up. So anda were saying?”
    “Oh yeah. Well, Dominic-“
    The end of lunch loceng interrupted Gema. Oh thank goodness, I thought to myself.
    “See anda after school for the Drama Club meeting Gema!” I turned and ran off towards my Trigonometry class before she could say one lebih word. The fake smile I had on my face to please Gema fell the saat she was out of range. I shrunk against the wall, knowing Dominic would pass me very soon.
    “Hey Eve.”
    I looked up quick enough to see Dom’s breathtaking smile and gorgeous eyes looking down on me. My cheeks flooded with arterial red. I never understood how anyone could be so gorgeous. Jason was cute but Dominic was…I don’t even know how to describe it, almost angelic.
    The walk to Trigonometry was brief. It was nice not to have to be pushed around for very long. I was definitely not in the mood. telah diberi I had been shoved the wrong way, I might have punched someone in the mouth.
    “Eve-uh-la!”
     My musing about punching someone was interrupted sejak my best guy friend, Zane. He was like a brother to me and I loved him deeply. He was one of the few people that could make me feel better at this point in my life.
    A smile grew on my face. But this time it was a real one. The saat I looked into Zane’s ocean blue eyes all my problems seemed to go away. I tossed my backpack under my meja and threw my arms around Zane’s neck and hugged him close.
    “Ello there Zane.”
    “Hello my dear. How are anda this afternoon?”
    “Great now that you’re here.” I replied as I sat down in my desk.
    Zane chuckled.
    “How are things with anda and Tessa luvvie?” I asked Zane as he sat on my desk. He raised his eyebrows and the choppy brown hair that hung partially in his face moved with it. I laughed without thinking. He lowered his eyebrows and laughed too, menunjukkan his braces.
    “Great. Tessa is so great. Feels right ya know?”
    “I’m glad bro. Now aren’t anda happy I talked anda into asking her out?”
    Zane’s legs dangled happily off my desk.
    “Very. Thank anda Genoviv.”
    “A thousand times you’re welcome.”
    The school loceng chimed in my ears.
    “I can hear the bells!” I sang. “Well don’t ya hear em chime? I can hear your heartbeat, keeping perfect time!”
    Zane laughed as I modified the lyrics of I Can Hear The Bells from Hairspray.
    “Come now, get off my desk.”
    As I instructed, he leapt lithely off my meja and over a whole two feet to his. Just in time it seemed as our teacher Mr. Anderson walked in. Mr. Anderson was a nice enough man, even for a teacher. I would guess he was about 35 atau so, very light spirited. His jet-black hair and friendly eyes also sparkled with mischief. But apparently I could never have guessed who he really was. The man that sat in the large meja before me at that moment was not the man hiding inside.
    “Okay everyone, open up your buku and we will discuss last night’s homework,” Mr. Anderson instructed us.
    I looked over at Zane and found him looking back. He pantomimed hanging himself and I laughed. A little too loud. My hand flew to my mouth and my eyes swerved back to Mr. Anderson.
    “Is there something anda would like to share Miss Ricci?”
    I could feel my whole class staring at me. I shook my head slowly and lowered my hand. Our teacher went back to work Penulisan on the board and I turned my gaze back to Zane and punched his arm. He winced and rubbed his arm. We shared smiles then decided to pay attention.