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posted by slenderman777
1. The last thing i saw was my alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long rotting nails through my chest her other hand muffling my screams, i sat bolt up right glad it was just a dream but as i saw my alarm clock read 12:06 i heard the closet door creak open.

2. Growing up with pets i was used to scratching on my bedroom door, now that i live alone its much lebih unsettling.

3. In all the times i lived in this house, i swear to god i closed lebih doors then i open.

4. I thought my cat had a staring problem she always was looking at my face, until one hari when i realized that she was always looking just behind me.

5. Theres nothing like the laughter of a baby, unless it's 1 am and you're utama alone.

6. She went to check on her sleeping toddler, the window was open and the katil was empty
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added by Simmeh
Breaking Poké-Bad
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breaking
poké-bad
The most realistic female android ever!
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the
most
realistic
female
android
ever!
added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by nmdis
added by nmdis
added by 050801090907
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated sejak you.
I was so Enchanted sejak your beauty that I ran into that dinding over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime anda passed by, just so I could stare at anda a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I...
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1)"Why, do anda find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I Cinta the saat grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and anda actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with lebih than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are anda busy?" atau "Are anda doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all hari but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and anda want to confuse them. No laughing atau anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Friends do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do anda want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is anda who is calling me. Ok, so what did anda need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. anda called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! anda are the one who called me! Now i ask one lebih time who are anda and why did anda call my at this...
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posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and anda have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation sejak saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall atau any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way anda laugh as anda wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt atau Uncle. If anda dare, hug them.
5. While passing a Rawak stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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added by Lovehinagurl44
added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: dumage
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: listal
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
added by Shelly_McShelly