An idea popped into my head the other hari and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, atau if the idea has already been used. Also I need Nasihat for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a tajuk yet so if anda have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short pratonton of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank anda Mrs. Monrale, anda too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a pratonton of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah berkata the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in Cinta with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be Muzik to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up Cinta notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short pratonton of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank anda Mrs. Monrale, anda too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a pratonton of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah berkata the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in Cinta with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be Muzik to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up Cinta notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
Alone!
There once was a girl who biked and ran
with her best friend who had a bright orange tan
But then one hari she when biking alone
and thats when she fell along way from home.
She lay still on the ground
not makeing a sound,and thats when she found
that she could not talk
let alone walk
As she slowly made her way home
she wished that she had a phone
so she could call for help
insted of put up with the pain that made her yelp.
She pushed her bike down the dusty track
with a sore haed and an acking back
Then she came to the place where her and her best friend met
just as the sun was begining to set
The seterusnya hari at school she was no where in sight
which gave her best frined a very big fright
but she was a utama tucked up in bed
with a sore leg and an acking head
Thats when she remebered what her best friend had berkata
about not going out bikeing alone
along way from home.
What do anda think?(I think it is very bad) and sorry of the spelling.
There once was a girl who biked and ran
with her best friend who had a bright orange tan
But then one hari she when biking alone
and thats when she fell along way from home.
She lay still on the ground
not makeing a sound,and thats when she found
that she could not talk
let alone walk
As she slowly made her way home
she wished that she had a phone
so she could call for help
insted of put up with the pain that made her yelp.
She pushed her bike down the dusty track
with a sore haed and an acking back
Then she came to the place where her and her best friend met
just as the sun was begining to set
The seterusnya hari at school she was no where in sight
which gave her best frined a very big fright
but she was a utama tucked up in bed
with a sore leg and an acking head
Thats when she remebered what her best friend had berkata
about not going out bikeing alone
along way from home.
What do anda think?(I think it is very bad) and sorry of the spelling.
You
It's the middle of the night,
And I can't sleep
Your face, planted with a smile
Are the only things I see
Your voice calling my name
Is the only thing I hear
I can feel your hand rubbing my back
Hearing anda whisper ''good night''
I jump and look around,
And soon realize anda are not there
I sob, tightly holding the gift anda once gave me
It's right here, on my bed, in perfect condition.
30 minit later, I wipe my face and go back to sleep…
I wake up once again
And the cycle starts all over again…
It's the middle of the night,
And I can't sleep
Your face, planted with a smile
Are the only things I see
Your voice calling my name
Is the only thing I hear
I can feel your hand rubbing my back
Hearing anda whisper ''good night''
I jump and look around,
And soon realize anda are not there
I sob, tightly holding the gift anda once gave me
It's right here, on my bed, in perfect condition.
30 minit later, I wipe my face and go back to sleep…
I wake up once again
And the cycle starts all over again…
your mistakes don't define you, now. they don't tell anda who you're not, atau who anda can never be. what's it take to get anda to say you'll try? you've got to live this life like it's the only one you've got. what would anda say, what would anda do, if this was your last day? so, anda found out today that life's not the same. not quite as good as yesterday.
and, yes, i know it hurts & i know your pain, but u never gave up this easily befor. such a beautiful thing to just throw away. i think anda need to know that, of all the Warna that anda shine, this is surely not your best, it's really not your style. anda should think about what anda do, befor anda do it, over and over again. i know anda feel alone, that know one can figure anda out, but anda sould know that we just Cinta to see anda smile.i know anda feel like you're lost, feel like you've drifted way to far away, but we can help anda come back.
and, yes, i know it hurts & i know your pain, but u never gave up this easily befor. such a beautiful thing to just throw away. i think anda need to know that, of all the Warna that anda shine, this is surely not your best, it's really not your style. anda should think about what anda do, befor anda do it, over and over again. i know anda feel alone, that know one can figure anda out, but anda sould know that we just Cinta to see anda smile.i know anda feel like you're lost, feel like you've drifted way to far away, but we can help anda come back.
I wrote this yesterday when me and my boyfriend had a big fight and it's a fight that may go on for a long time. I know I am young to write something like this but, I guess it helps. Plus If anda don't like it just tell me, ok?
The Power of Words
anda and I had this big long fight,
It felt like the storm during the night.
It was verry sad and cold,
My Friends had to like anda a lot
and anda felt like I forgot,
forgot about you.
But I had a prodject due.
anda think you're mr. I'm so cool
but anda used to act like a ghool.
Not to the people anda love,
to the sensetive people like a dove.
How we spoke with eachother,
made anda feel much better.
But the fight we had,
anda berkata was nothing but it was bad.
See ya pal we're ova,
take the cell anda gave me and do me a fava.
Just don't ever,
Never...
Talk to me again!
The Power of Words
anda and I had this big long fight,
It felt like the storm during the night.
It was verry sad and cold,
My Friends had to like anda a lot
and anda felt like I forgot,
forgot about you.
But I had a prodject due.
anda think you're mr. I'm so cool
but anda used to act like a ghool.
Not to the people anda love,
to the sensetive people like a dove.
How we spoke with eachother,
made anda feel much better.
But the fight we had,
anda berkata was nothing but it was bad.
See ya pal we're ova,
take the cell anda gave me and do me a fava.
Just don't ever,
Never...
Talk to me again!
The Man With No Eyes Collection (1): The Actor
Sundown, sunrise.
Big smile!
(Tired eyes.)
I vanish into thin air.
An actor never fails.
(Lies.)
To give the world a rousing show
(While begging to be recognized.)
To shine as brightly as the sun
Upon the takhta that we’ve devised.
A patchwork-quilt protagonist
A villain from the shadow realm
The work of the illusionist
When I, the actor, take the helm.
“Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to see…”
The whisper marks my story’s birth.
The audience will gather ‘round.
(The jury to decide my worth.)
"The Man With No Eyes" is a series of poems, all of which are unfolding from one character's point of view. They are meant to represent an ongoing journey. So if anda liked this one, stay tuned for more. :)
Sundown, sunrise.
Big smile!
(Tired eyes.)
I vanish into thin air.
An actor never fails.
(Lies.)
To give the world a rousing show
(While begging to be recognized.)
To shine as brightly as the sun
Upon the takhta that we’ve devised.
A patchwork-quilt protagonist
A villain from the shadow realm
The work of the illusionist
When I, the actor, take the helm.
“Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to see…”
The whisper marks my story’s birth.
The audience will gather ‘round.
(The jury to decide my worth.)
"The Man With No Eyes" is a series of poems, all of which are unfolding from one character's point of view. They are meant to represent an ongoing journey. So if anda liked this one, stay tuned for more. :)