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There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he berkata "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just Cinta alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and huraian and he put the man inside and berkata "see anda in 100 years" and locked the door.


To the saat man he asked the same soalan and the man replied "oh man I just Cinta to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the...
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posted by Cyrusrocks
I thought these were funny. Hope u like them.



I "wonder" why some "people" like to use Rawak "quotation marks" in their "sentences".

Someone should get this state on meds cause this weather is bipolar!

Today's forecast: Partially moody with a chance of I don't like you.

Be warned if anda piss me off today I'm going to knock your teeth so far down your throat anda will need to stick your toothbrush up your backside to clean them.

I am only crazy 99% of the time.. The other 1% is trying to figure out how to make it a 100%! :p

If anda are god's gift to women, then i hope god kept the receipt coz...
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service meja and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid atau a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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1. AT DINNER: Look at your parent with crazy eyes, and whenever they say something, repeat the last word.

2. When they say, "What are anda doing?", say, "What are anda doing?" (emphasize the YOU)

3. IN THE LIVING ROOM: Tell your sibling to hide behind the sofa, kerusi panjang until anda give them the signal. Call your parent into the room. Start crying and say "Mom! Dad! (sibling's name) ran away! Call the police!" When they call the police, give your sibling the signal. Enjoy parents reactions. (WARNING: ATTEMPT THIS ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!)

4. WHEN THEY MAKE SOMETHING GROSS FOR DINNER: Ask them which restaurant...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If anda keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a senarai of "pros" and "cons" to help anda better understand why you're seeking Cinta atau acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things anda can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Researchers in the UK examined lebih than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A meterai walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner kedai - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell anda what I Cinta doing lebih than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1. Let's go somewhere where we have to get really dressed up.

2. Wow, anda did your cuticles.

3. I'll pick anda up early, b/c I really want to meet your parents.

4. Want to hit the outlet mall this weekend?

5. If anda want to tarikh other guys too, that's cool with me.

6. Anjing are fine, but anak kucing are lebih cuddly.

7. Hey, that baju looks really good with those jeans.

8. Carson Daly is sooo deep.

9. How can anyone watch boxing? It's totally violent.

10. I can't wait to see the new Freddie Prinze Jr. movie.

11. Hey, today's our "two months from the first hari we berkata hi" anniversary.

12. Didn't Gwyenth's outfit...
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Part 4 - but still in no particular order

61.
Name: John Hannah (Actor)
From: The Mummy/Sliding Doors
Character: Johnathan/James
Attraction: His scottish accent even though I know he doesn't have it in The Mummy - I still like him



62.
Name: Calvin Harris (Singer)
Attraction: His voice - when I heard I'm Not Alone I just couldn't get enough of it - his voice was just beautiful to me. Alas, he is also Scottish



63.
Name: Jonas Altberg (Singer)
From: Basshunter
Attraction: Well just look at those gorgeous eyes



64.
Name: Mark Strong (Actor)
From: Stardust
Character: Septimus
Attraction: I suppose...
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Ok that's it I'm doing it even if people didn't even wanted me to do it I'm doing it anyways.

Hello everybody welcome to Alpha's bahagian, atas ten senarai (and yes I called it that very unoriginal...) Well I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to senarai some of the worst fandoms of all of history. Oh and before I start this list, but it's pretty obvious that this is my opinion and I'm not here to hurt anyone. So here we go!!!!

10. Beliebers- You're probably wondering why this isn't higher and yes I find these peminat-peminat really annoying!!! This is probably an example of an average crazy fangirl, but I don't...
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are anda really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he berkata that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can anda tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern hari issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Cinta atau hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years lalu were blacks telah diberi the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Ask your teacher "Is mayonaise an instrument?"

2. Take a drummer's drumstick (or if you're a drummer, than your own!) and poke people with it

3. Ask if anda can try the harmomonica atau the recorder

4. Play Sweet Victory (in the Spondgebob episode Band Geeks) as a surprise duiring a concert. Plan it with others in advance before, though.

5.Purpously forget your instrument. If your teacher asks why, say "My pet alien ate it, than a viking killed him, than it swam in a pool and drowned, than I recovered his body and Chuck Noris beat it up and ate it, than he threw it up and made it into shampoo,...
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1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes sejak waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear...
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posted by theprettiergirl
This is spell to turn into a mermaid I haven't tried the spell hope it works.
The spell:
1. Go into the bathroom with your favourite kalung on.
2. Get in the bathtub and sit in the tub closing your eyes softly.
3. Say this:
Magic spirits of the deep I would like a tail not 2 feet beauty be upon me ikan all kinds let me see when I'm finished in the sea when I'm dry my feet return to me.
4. Dry off really fast anda need to be completely dry.
5. Touch some water and anda will become water that has turned out to be bubbles and anda will get a tail but anda do not decide the water decides the colour of the tail. Also anda will get powers when anda do something hard but not with in water.
Don't look at the full moon otherwise the moon will put a spell on anda but the spell the got put on anda will end in the mornings.
Okay so if anda live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The seterusnya day, cut the balloons off and anda got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when anda can barely alih as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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posted by scarlet009
1. Men like to barbeque. Men will cook if danger is involved.


2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.


3. If anda buy your husband atau boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when anda go to the bathroom.


4. Most husbands’ atau men’s early films end with a scream and a flush.


5. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”


6. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are lebih women than men, it...
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posted by xneville_rocksx
1. Know how to make anda smile when anda are down

2. Try to secretly smell your hair , but anda always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .

4. Give anda the remote control during the game

5. Come up behind anda and put his arms around anda

6. Play with your hair .

7. His hands always find yours .

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer anda plenty of massages

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .

11. Never run out of Cinta .

12. Be funny , but know how to be serious

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious

14. Be patient when anda take...
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posted by rAsberrStrarS
Ciuman On The Lips-I Cinta You
Ciuman On The Ear-You Are Special
Ciuman On The Nose-Laughter
Ciuman On The Cheek-Friendship
Ciuman On The Forehead-I Comfort You
Ciuman On The Neck-I Want You
Ciuman On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
Ciuman Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender Ciuman On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I Lost anda
link

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. Queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
01. JESUS
Preferably shouted.

"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW

AND FAT, WHAT DO anda WEIGH

HA-HA-HA-HA

anda CAN’T FUCKING SING

I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT

GET OUT MY WAY anda HO

I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT

OH!

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

OVER BODIES EVERY hari (HEY)

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

jalang, perempuan jalang WHAT DID I SAY

RUN THAT keldai CUZ anda CAN’T HIDE

FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."

--

Happy Holidays~